Me. At least after what I've been through.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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