And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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