just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
