so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
