Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize