i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
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he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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