i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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