she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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