so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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