Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
