Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
