Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I love you. Go after that dick
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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