you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
