playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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