pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sext me about skeletons
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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