i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
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He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
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Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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