Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
