Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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