Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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