I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
