Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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