she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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