I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So apparently I’m into choking now
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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