yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
