I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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