i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize