Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize