I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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