how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
