my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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