Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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