We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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