I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
