Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
