Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
