hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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