My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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