I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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