NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We just shotgunned beers for America
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
