thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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