Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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