btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
