Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize