Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The beer is more important than you right now.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
