Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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