u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
