Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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