Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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