chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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