I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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