i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
