Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize