doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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