I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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