and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
