my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
